irritated

I find that I am very good at iterating why I get annoyed in online posts, and I notice that while I don’t hold grudges, if I were to reread something that made me angry before, I will remember and it usually bothers me again. Therefore, while I am a lot more annoyed than I wish to be at the same people who inadvertently push my buttons with their condescending  talk, I am choosing not to make my…future reading self annoyed again. sigh. I seriously don’t get him sometimes…

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New Year

Happy New Year!

(I was going to write something about how no one will read this blog anyway but instead decided to just stick with the sweeter simplier greeting. 🙂 )

We just finished the Winter training in Anaheim and are now back in the cold climate of MI. I got super sick the morning after we got back too… x( so sad!!! i believe I can even pinpoint the moment as well.. stupid me for not having hand sanitizer on me before eating food  on a dirty plane. 😦

But onto more enjoyable things!

I will  definitely have to post lots of things regarding my enjoyment of the winter training. I would like to go through it a little bit at a time. maybe I should start now since I am so sick. (i dislike being sick to the max, so maybe this will be the upswing I need to make this better). BUT FIRST!!

something I enjoyed from my Bible reading. I’m currently trying to go through the NT in chronological order with footnotes, (if any of you online ppl are out there and love to get free things: http://www.bfa.org/
has a free Bible and here is where all the riches of riches are!!!! footnotes and cross-references galore! so understandable!) please check it out! besides! its free! how do you lose from getting something FREE? 😀

So anyways, I’m in Matthew 5. Verse 3 says, “Blessed are the 2poor in 3spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of the heavens”. footnote 2 says, “To be poor in spirit is not only to be humble but also to be emptied in our spirit, in the depth of our being, not holding on to the old things of the old dispensation but unloaded to receive the new things, the things of the kingdom of the heavens.”

footnote 3 goes onto say “Spirit here refers not to the Spirit of God but to our human spirit, the deepest part of our being, the organ by which we contact God and realize spiritual things. We need to be poor, emptied, unloaded, in this part of our being that we may realize and possess the kingdom of the heavens. This implies that the kingdom of the heavens is spiritual, not material.”

so some of the things shown here is that 1) we have a spirit deep within our being and we use this to contact God and spiritual things! 2) we need to be emptied out and unloaded of all the outward things/distractions/problems/anything other than Christ that we can have our full eyes to see what the kingdom of the heavens IS. and 3) that the kingdom of the heavens is spiritual and not material is amazing. we are not going to some heavenly mansion but there is more to it! as to what this “more” is.. you’ll have to stay tuned. as I learn to articulate it, you will learn what it is! 😀 heh heh

 

 

Maybe too much in my mind

Today we watched the 3rd msg of the thanksgiving conference. It was talking about Rom. 8 being the center of the universe and G’s economy and how we need to be those who live by Rom. 8, living by the law of the Spirit of life. That by setting our minds on the spirit over and over and over again, it becomes our habit and eventually it becomes part of our character and then ultimately it becomes our living. It is through this individual going on that we can have Rom. 12 which is the corporate aspect of  the Body and the Bride which is just God expressed on this earth. It was an awesome message. there were so many points that I couldn’t even think to write them all here by memory.

1 thing tho was that there was a bit about how to live by setting the mind on the spirit; that each of us has the “electricity” installed in our spirit when we receive Christ into us. but that we need to “switch on” the flow of power. We can do this by calling on His name. By worshiping Him, by praising Him, this is our pushing the button to turn on the flow. but many times after a meeting or our scheduled times with the Lord, we take our finger off and so stop the flow of power/electricity. Which as I considered, this is how my life has been as well. If/When I have MR. It is usually in a way that I am turning to my spirit bc I already know/seen/experienced how crucial it is to start my day with the Lord. But there are many times that I feel rushed (have things to get done, etc) and I go thru the MR/bible reading/ministry reading in a way that isn’t taking my time to muse on the words there.. isn’t this my “removing my finger from the “on” button? A Yu said that it is not about “am I living by the spirit” but more “am I living by my flesh?” flesh is more than just the doing sinful things although it is included, it has more to do with EVERYTHING not according to our spirit.

I am utterly spinning myself in circles. All I know is that I do not always joyful in my salvation. I am quite honestly re-introducing myself to my soul, and it never ends. The things that I would like to do, albeit not sinful, are not according to my spirit. I think it has to do with how busy both of us are and my being more chummy with my soul.

 

I NEED MORE CHRIST!

New Beginnings

So, I am finally putting my old LJ account to rest and beginning a new blog bc…well…there are a lot of things that have changed since I started my blog in high school and this hopefully will be a nice new start for me.

I normally like to write in a book/journal/diary…but after the fire of my house during the honeymoon, I feel that if possible, especially if there is a question on my mind rather than just sth particular that happened, then this would be a better venue for it than in the book that most likely others will never see. 😛 That being said, there will still probably be many private posts anyway.

Something about me: I love having pets but bc we are living in grad student housing on the University of Michigan campus at this time, we cannot have any. I think it has to do with me not being able to shower my love on a living creature; Anthony is usually too busy studying to reciprocate when I am available and I am usually in the middle of something when he is free.. so just having someone there to be there to absorb all the excess energy/love that I have is pretty important to me and I am becoming more and more strange without this outlet that I need.

This is Baby. She was the one who put up with all of my loving.

Very happy couple we are! This is after Anthony asked me to marry him and now we are!

Another post to come!